Listening sounds easy. But it’s not. Real listening takes effort and skill.
Listening isn’t passing the time until the speaker runs out of things to say. Or mentally finding fault with the speaker’s argument so you can shoot down their logic. Or waiting for the speaker to take a breath so you can interrupt. These kinds of listening patterns can create a small war!
Therapists use a technique called “reflective listening” that can be useful for everyone. Reflective listening is different from the communication styles you grew up with (unless you are the child of psychotherapists), and is built on four main principles:
- Reflective listening is present in the moment. When listening, you don’t let your mind wander. You stay present with the speaker and give her your full attention.
- Reflective listening uses aligned body language. A reflective listener takes approximately (read more)