Pornography use in our community is at an all-time high – and there seems to be no slowing down. Unfortunately, those who get caught in its grasp struggle to get free as their lives and the lives around them suffer. Shame accompanies pornography use in a way that is damaging and debilitating. Pornography often acts as a numbing agent for those who use it. Not wanting to feel uncomfortable emotions, several people go to pornography because it takes them from that uncomfortable emotion. It’s important to note that this isn’t always the case. Sometimes people get into pornography out of curiosity and it become habit forming. Now-a-days, young people are getting exposed at younger and younger ages to more and more explicit pornography. The ease of access makes this a serious problem at a young age. I often work with clients who tell me that they started using pornography after stumbling on it when they were anywhere from 5-10 years old (at first use). They report that their parents didn’t know and didn’t ask – they certainly didn’t tell anyone either. They used heavy/severe pornography for years before they were caught or eventually told someone. The secrecy that enables this type of behavior is damaging and serious. Ask your children what their experience is with it – you will be surprised to what they have to say. If we aren’t asking and talking with them about it, they are facing it on their own. A professional counselor can help you talk with your child about pornography.
Written by Dr. Triston Morgan, LMFT of the Holladay Center for Couples and Families