Find a Happy Future

Upset I’d rather hide than try. I’m silent when it’s time to stand. Why do I impose a face of apathy when I’m scared? Maybe it’s time to stop covering what’s broken and start fixing. Maybe it’s not ‘maybe’ anymore. It’s time to value me more than security.

Stop estimating your future based on your present situation.  Nobody falls to the top they always climb.  We have heard many rags to riches stories.  Why can’t that story be yours?  Whenever we see someone great, and look at him or her thinking that they have some superior talent and they probably do, but the thing we forget is that they started out average.  Just like you and me.  It is their discipline; the action we take that separates great people from mediocrity.  Heroes and cowards are no different except it is how they choose to face fear.

I am a hypocrite because I don’t take advantage of my moments too.  I’m not as painfully honest, assertive, or as strong as I know others need me to be.  Too often I come home wishing I had handled my new challenge with greater courage forgetting the cost.

I write this as my mantra.  This is my new commitment to self.  I will not cower to the fears overwhelming inside.  I cannot be captain to my glorious future ahead if I do not weld my ship with vision undeterred.  We live in America, for crying out loud!  What blessings are ours?  It is possible and so I try.

And so, I am

Vulnerable enough to claim my pain,

Confident enough to laugh at myself,

Strong enough to admit my mistakes,

Humble enough to dare the impossible,

Meek enough to relinquish resentment,

Simple enough to love one more time.

And,

I am strong.

Hurt empowers me.

Failure fuels my fight.

Weakness births strengths.

Life’s hard, but I hit harder.

Written by Ryan Smith, LAMFT, Therapist, Center for Couples and Families – Holladay

Depression – Winter Blues?

Winter brings depression for many here in Utah. For some it comes on because of the shorter, darker days. For others it comes because of a change in diet (i.e., eating too much and too unhealthy at holiday gatherings) and moving less (i.e., not exercising or moving around outside. And for others it comes because of loneliness and feeling the pain of relationships not going well or relationships lost. No matter why you are depressed the fact still remains – you are struggling and not doing well. Lets talk about what to do when you find yourself feeling down during the winter.

  1. Move more – getting outside, even if its cold, can help you feel better. Find something that you enjoy and do it. Exercising at a local gym or community recreation center can feel good.
  2. Eat healthy – we often emotionally eat, eat because we are bored or because its a holiday. All of these experiences can leave us feeling worse than we felt before. Keep eating healthy. Rather than just restricting what you eat, try replacing unhealthy food for healthy food you like.
  3. Talk to someone – isolation is often a big precursor and proponent of depression. Talk to someone you like and share with them what you are going through. They might not have the answers, but it could feel good to let someone care for you.
  4. See professional help – there can sometimes be a negative stigma associated with getting therapy. Get over it. 🙂 Therapy has been shown to help those who are depressed. It can make a difference for you and your loved ones. Most all of my clients report to me that they are glad they got the help when they were struggling.

Hidden Signs of Depression

Studies show about 1 out of every 6 adults will have depression at some time in their life. This means that you probably know someone who is depressed or may become depressed at some point. We often think of a depressed person as someone who is sad or melancholy. However, there are other signs of depression that can be a little more difficult to detect.  

Trouble Sleeping 

If you notice a change in a loved one’s sleeping habits pay close attention as this could be a sign of depression. Oftentimes depression leads to trouble sleeping and lack of sleep can also lead to depression.

Quick to Anger
When a person is depressed even everyday challenges can seem more difficult or even impossible to manage which often leads to increased anger and irritability. This can be especially true for adolescents and children.  

Losing Interest 
When someone is suffering from depression you may notice a lack of interest in past times he or she typically enjoys. “People suffering from clinical depression lose interest in favorite hobbies, friends, work — even food. It’s as if the brain’s pleasure circuits shut down or short out.” 

Appetite Changes
Gary Kennedy, MD, director of geriatric psychiatry at Montefiore Medical Center in Bronx, New York cautions that a loss of appetite can be a sign of depression or even a sign of relapse back into depression. Dr. Kennedy also points out that others have trouble with overeating when they are depressed. 

Low Self-Esteem 

Depression often leaves people feeling down about themselves. Depression can lead to feelings of self-doubt and a negative attitude.  

What to do
If you suspect you or someone you love may be suffering from depression talk about it, encourage him or her to get professional help and once he or she does be supportive. Remember that at times symptoms of depression need to be treated just like any other medical condition.

Originally published on http://utvalleywellness.com/

 

How Do I Help My Depressed Teenager?

Teens with depression can be successfully treated if they seek the right help. Teen depression doesn’t have to mean a lifetime of struggle, and it certainly doesn’t have to end in suicide. Wake up parents, be aware, notice the red flags and then seek to find the professional help that your teen needs and deserves. In addition to seeking professional assistance, below are a few key suggestions on how to help your depressed teenager.

Acknowledge their feelings: Acknowledging the pain and sadness they are experiencing can go a long way in making them feel heard, understood and supported. Often times adults try to talk their teens out of depression, by rationalizing or trying to convince them that their problems are really not that bad. Well-meaning attempts to explain why “things aren’t that bad” come across as if you don’t take their emotions seriously.

Focus on listening: Listen to your child without offering advice or lecturing. Once your teen begins to talk resist the urge to pass any judgement or get upset. You’ll do the most good by simply letting your teen know that you’re there for them, listening fully and unconditionally.

Encourage social connection: Depressed teens tend to withdraw from their friends and the activities they used to enjoy. Isolation makes depression worse, do what you can to help your teen reconnect with their peers and loved ones. Suggest activities such as sports, after-school clubs, or an art, dance, or music class suggest things that interest your child or that he or she has a special interest in.

Make Time: Set aside time each day to talk one on one with your teenager. Put your phone and work away and focus completely on your teen without trying to multitask.

Physical Health: Depression is associated with inactivity, inadequate sleep, and poor nutrition. Teens are known for staying up late, eating junk food, and spending hours on their phones and devices. Encourage your teenager to create healthy habits in their lives by exercising daily, getting enough sleep, and eating nutritious foods.

Set limits: Cell phones have become a way for teenagers to escape real life and ignore their problems. As the number of hours, a teen spends on their phone increases the number of hours that that teen spends being physically active or socially connected with their peers decreases. Which in turn, increases depression.

Be understanding.: Living with a depressed teenager can be exhausting.  At times, you may experience unnecessary guilt, rejection, despair, anger, and many other negative emotions. It is easy to blame yourself and to start doubting your own parenting skills. Remember that your child is not being difficult on purpose. Your teen is suffering, so do your best to be patient and understanding.

When Do I Seek Professional Help?

Listen to your gut. You know your child, you know what is and isn’t normal for their personality. As you are actively engaged in their lives you will know if something is up. Have the courage and the strength to seek the professional help that is necessary to help your teen learn how to manage and understand depression in order to live a happy, balanced, and fulfilled life.

 

Written by Brandi Hess, LAMFT

 

Is Your Teen Depressed?

Many of the parents that I see often wonder what is and isn’t normal teenage behavior. They sit in my office and try to make sense of the most recent argument that they have had with their teen. They wonder how on earth their teenager can sleep until noon on a Saturday and cannot for the life of them figure out the patterns or the causes of their teens good and bad moods. Teenagers face a variety of pressures and stresses. As they enter Jr. High they are adapting to an entirely new way of learning and socializing. Often times their group of friends are changing and the teen naturally wonders where they fit in as they are trying to figure out who they really are. Beyond the natural biological changes of puberty, teenagers are also dealing with the pressures of getting good grades, maybe dealing with high stress family issues, or struggling with feeling accepted in their social circles. So, what is normal and what is depression?

 

Teen depression goes beyond moodiness. It’s a serious health problem that is estimated to affect one in five adolescents from all walks of life. Between 10-15% of these teens suffer from symptoms at any one time, and sadly only 30% of depressed teens are being treated for it. A depressed teenager’s entire life is impacted. The depression can affect their self-esteem, their family and social relationships, their overall health and their ability to function in everyday life.

Many times, the teenager has just not learned how to cope or handle the new set of emotions and feelings that they are feel as their bodies are changing and as they are starting to face real daily stresses and pressures. Rather than seeking support and help from their family and friends they become withdrawn, anxious, and sad. They begin to act out in an attempt to cope with their emotional pain. If depression isn’t treated or addressed it can destroy the essence of your teen’s personality causing them to feel an overwhelming sense of sadness, despair, anger and disappointment. Below is a list of signs and symptoms to look for in your teen if you think that they may be struggling with depression:

 

  • Irritability or hostility
  • frequent crying
  • Withdrawal from friends/family
  • Loss of interest in activities
  • Poor school performance
  • Changes in eating and sleeping habits
  • Restlessness
  • Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
  • Lack of enthusiasm and motivation
  • Lack of energy
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Unexplained aches and pains
  • Thoughts of death or suicide

Teenagers often times suffer silently, feeling alone. They become hopeless and believe that life will never get better. Teenagers rely on their parents and caregivers to recognize their suffering and to get them the help that they need. If you are unsure if our teenager is depressed or just “being a teenager” consider how long the symptoms have been present and how severe they are and then consider how different your teen is acting from his or her usual self. Be proactive and find a professional who can help your teen overcome this difficult part of their life. There is hope, and things can get better.

 

By Brandi Hess, LAMFT

Simple Ways to Improve Mood by Alberto Souza, MSN, APRN, FNP-C

We all have those days when it feels like we woke up on the wrong side of the bed. For whatever reason we are just in a bad mood. Often times these bad mood feelings are associated with difficult or stressful events in our lives such as trouble at work, financial problems or disappointment. Sometimes these bad mood feelings last for only a few hours, but sometimes they might linger for days at a time. There are many simple strategies to improve one’s mood in spite of what it is that might be bringing us down.

Be With People

Often times when we are feeling low just being with a trusted friend or family member and talking about our feelings can make all the difference. Having a sympathetic listener or someone that can get us laughing or looking at the bright side of things can make all the difference. We shouldn’t be embarrassed to talk about our mood or admit that we need help. In fact, many times isolating ourselves can be one of the biggest culprits in a lingering bad mood.

Get Out

Whether its a brisk walk through the neighborhood or a trip to the grocery store, getting out of the house can do wonders for improving our mood. Sometimes we just need a little sunshine or to breathe in some fresh air. The sights and sounds of everyday life can get our mind off of things and be a beautiful distraction.

Enjoy Yourself

When a bad mood strikes we might find ourselves not even wanting to do the things we normally enjoy, but doing them anyways can take our minds off of negative thoughts and often times will help us feel better overall. Think of simple pleasures like reading, exercising, cooking or baking, shopping or just watching a funny movie or show.

Talk to a Professional

Feeling sad or moody are normal human emotions that we all experience from time to time.  Depression is different from these emotions primarily because depression is a pervasive feeling of sadness that impacts our entire life and doesn’t just go away even when things in our lives are good. We should not hesitate to reach out to a professional to help us understand our feelings and deal with them appropriately.

Source: Psychology Today

About the Author:  Alberto has worked in healthcare for over 10 years. He began as a CNA and then worked as a registered nurse until completing his Master’s Degree in Nursing.  Alberto has been been working as a Nurse Practitioner since April of 2013.  In addition to his work as a Nurse Practitioner, he also teaches online classes for the Dixie State University Nursing Program.  He is currently working at the St. George Center For Couples & Families.